September 5, 2025
Feeling nervous before an exam is perfectly normal – but for many children, managing anxiety around exams becomes a real challenge as the pressure builds. With school tests becoming more frequent and competitive, even primary-age students are starting to feel the strain.
It’s common to feel some nerves before a big test, but for children, the pressure can turn into something more challenging: exam anxiety.
An exam anxiety is often triggered by high expectations, past experiences, fear of failure, or a desire for perfection. When exam anxiety starts to affect your children’s ability to study, attend exams, or answer questions, it can be overwhelming for you, but especially so for your children.
As a parent, it can be tricky to know how to help. Encouragement can sometimes sound like pressure, and staying hands-off may leave them floundering. But how we support our children through exam periods – especially the way we talk about stress, grades, and expectations – shapes how they handle pressure, now and in the long run.
Here’s how to help your child manage exam stress and build healthy habits that last beyond test day.
Exam anxiety often comes from uncertainty. A messy study routine, unclear expectations, or last-minute cramming can make children feel overwhelmed before they even begin. Instead of rigid timetables that feel like punishment, help your child create a study plan that’s flexible, achievable, and age-appropriate.
For younger children, this might look like a visual chart with subjects broken down into small topics, paired with fun break-time activities. For older children, it could be a weekly overview where they set their own goals and check in with you briefly each evening.
This keeps energy up and helps reduce that heavy, all-day study dread.
Most importantly, frame the plan as a tool – not a test in itself. Your goal isn’t to micromanage their schedule but to help them feel organised and in control, which naturally reduces stress.
Children often mirror how the adults around them deal with pressure. If we’re visibly anxious or frequently discussing exam outcomes in high-stakes terms, kids pick up on that. Instead, show them that it’s okay to step back, rest, and manage emotions – especially when things feel overwhelming.
Even small daily rituals can make a difference. A walk after dinner, five minutes of deep breathing before bed, or turning off screens and chatting about something fun can all help regulate mood and bring down anxiety levels.
These moments aren’t “wasted time.” They build mental resilience in children and teach them how to self-soothe – skills that are just as important as anything they’ll learn from a book.
Often, the stress around exams doesn’t come from the test itself but from worrying about the outcome. Children, especially those who are already trying hard, may internalise poor results as personal failure. How we react at home to grades – whether good or bad – can either support their confidence or chip away at it.
Instead of zeroing in on the numbers, open up space for conversation. Ask questions like:
This shifts the tone from evaluation to reflection. It tells your child that results are just information – not a measure of their worth. Confidence doesn’t come from perfect scores. It grows when kids feel safe enough to try, stumble, and try again, while knowing they’ll be supported, not judged.
Of course, we all want our children to do well – but how we define “doing well” makes all the difference. When the focus is solely on outcomes (“you must score 90”), children may start associating love and approval with results. That’s a heavy burden to carry.
Instead, praise effort, progress, and self-awareness. Ask what they’re proud of, what they found tough, and what they’d like to tackle next time. This keeps the door open for honest conversations and builds a growth mindset that will serve them for life, not just during exams.
Additionally, developing better reading comprehension may prevent them from experiencing exam anxiety – with the ability of digesting information better, leading to a better state of preparedness. Again, mindset over milestones – once the mindset is there, the milestones will come along the way.
Managing exam anxiety – especially major ones like the PSLE – isn’t just about calming nerves. It’s about shaping how children see challenges and how they respond to them. By creating a calm environment, building healthy study habits, and speaking thoughtfully about results, parents can help children not only cope with exams but grow through them.At Jan & Elly, we believe learning is about more than just scores. It’s about building confident, curious learners who can take on the world – one step (and one test) at a time.
We offer personalised English lessons tailored for kids aged 4–12, helping them learn with confidence.
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